The Truth about Kurrel the Raven that the US Government doesn't want you to know!
Kurrel the Raven is the alias of a 28-year old snake-handler from Perth, Western Australia. His involvement with the furry community is in artwork and costume-making, an interest mainly shared with local like-minded furries in Perth where he's been a persistent nuisance at get-togethers. He's responsible for many Perth furries trying a fursuit for the first time, letting interested furs try on Womble (his first fursuit, now retired and living in a Yokine masonic village) at parties. He therefore has a steadily growing reputation as the 'Gateway Furry' and is wanted for questioning by police in several districts south of the Swan River.
He also wrote The Furry Song, a neptunian rap in an Australian accent about furries. He released the original (the Kwookywomble version), deleted it due to not liking it, rewrote it a few times and finally rereleased it (the Kurrel the Raven version), then came to dislike it again and deleted it once more. It has since been rewritten and deleted no less than twenty-three times (including the Kransky the Wombat version, a puzzling 17-minute incarnation in which the lyrics consisted solely of the words 'my face, your thighs' shouted over and over). It is currently out of official circulation though it reportedly gets performed sometimes at furry conventions in the United States, although the imitations of his Australian accent often leave much to be desired. It has turned up on Second Life radio playlists. (Kurrel doesn't have an SL avatar, and is reluctant to check this for himself.) Both the Mephit Furmeet and the Midwest FurFest hold Furry Song Soirées, a listening marathon where all 25 versions are played end to end. During this, candles are lit and a small effigy of Kurrel is passed around the crowd and attendees kiss it lightly on each cheek, or on the forehead, depending on local tradition.
Kurrel's appreciation for species-defying anthropomorphic whomsy (such as his character costume Ythrykythyr) is tempered with an ongoing wariness with the sociopolitics of the general furry fandom itself, as well as the Faroese. Most of his creative snoutput now lies in the realm of electronic music instead of furry art, although he does take commission offers from time to time when he needs the attention and/or is broke or wants to buy a Leadtek 6600GT or basic food rations.
Little known facts about Kurrel the Raven
- Kurrel is slightly allergic to the sound of bells.
- Kurrel can live up to 160 years if preserved in a light saline solution.
- Kurrel has a large growth at the back of his skull which CAT scans have revealed to contain extra parts of his brain. Medical studies into its function have proved inconclusive, but when Kurrel himself is asked about it, he says it is used for 'secrets'.
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- Iceland was first discovered by Kurrel's great-great-great-grandfather, Sjónvarpr the Blithering.
- When startled, Kurrel emits a strong, sickly sweet scent to ward off potential predators, which also acts as an 'alarm hormone' for all other foliage in the immediate area.
- Kurrel is arguably of Welsh ancestry, being as he enjoys the taste of chicken and leek pie and has a low, resonant singing voice, as well a grandfather named Llewellyn.
- Kurrel is a lying ass bastard educated stupid who eats cow-dung ambrosia!
- Kurrel's birth-chord is a ninth suspended fourth, a birth chord he shares with television presenter James May, inventor Alfred Nobel, civil engineer Lord Pleasantly Calmington-Pillow and champion Finnish chicken-strangler Turppu Hemnemiemmelainen.
- Kurrel designed and built the first fully working George Clinton.
- Kurrel features a quick-release system which allows him to be folded up and placed in a backpack in emergencies.
- The phrase "Joe Average", a metonym meaning the typical citizenry in a given society, was actually coined by Kurrel.
- If an apparition of Kurrel should appear in the northern sky at sunset, you should take off your socks immediately to avoid ten years of bad luck.
- Kurrel once made a fursuit out of fluorescent green fluff picked off tennis balls.
- If you look directly into Kurrel's pupils and study the reflections in them, you can see the faint image of a pale little girl in a lace dress. She holds a skull in her left hand at arm's length and she speaks without moving her lips. Her eyes do all the talking. They say 'don't you ever wonder?' as a tear rolls down her cheek. You look away suddenly - awkwardly - and make a stilted comment about the weather. Oh, you'll try to ignore it. You'll try to ignore it for the rest of your life. But the vision of the silent, crying girl can never be unseen.
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